41 lines
2.9 KiB
TypeScript
41 lines
2.9 KiB
TypeScript
// Dazza (management) text messages. Voice: aggressive lowercase, no full stops,
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// occasionally terrified of the owner. Rule-bearing texts pair with a
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// DressCodeRule id in rules/dressCode.ts.
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export interface DazzaLine {
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id: string;
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text: string;
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/** dress-code rule id this text announces, if any */
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ruleId?: string;
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/** earliest clock-min this can fire */
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fromMin: number;
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}
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export const DAZZA_TEXTS: readonly DazzaLine[] = [
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// rule-bearing escalation (design doc §3.1)
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{ id: 'rule-basics', text: 'mate its 930 no thongs no singlets we are not a beer garden', ruleId: 'noThongsSinglets', fromMin: 30 },
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{ id: 'rule-logos', text: 'seeing too many logos in there. no visible logos from NOW', ruleId: 'noLogos', fromMin: 90 },
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{ id: 'rule-sneakers', text: 'white sneakers are OVER. unless vintage. u know the difference', ruleId: 'noWhiteSneakers', fromMin: 150 },
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{ id: 'rule-songRequest', text: 'if they look like theyd request a song they dont come in. u know the look', ruleId: 'noSongRequesters', fromMin: 105 },
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{ id: 'rule-bucketHats', text: 'bucket hats r making the room feel like a festival toilet queue. gone', ruleId: 'noBucketHats', fromMin: 180 },
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{ id: 'rule-sunnies', text: 'anyone wearing sunnies inside at 11pm is a cop or a flog. neither gets in', ruleId: 'noSunnies', fromMin: 120 },
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{ id: 'rule-suits', text: 'too corporate in here tonight. no blazers til the suits ive already got leave', ruleId: 'noBlazers', fromMin: 200 },
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{ id: 'rule-couples', text: 'no more couples holding hands in the queue its making the room feel married', ruleId: 'noHandHolders', fromMin: 135 },
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// the 1:30 lockout (state law; rules/judge.ts LOCKOUT_MIN)
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{ id: 'lockout-warn', text: 'lockout in 15. after 130 the law says this door is SHUT. the queue will not agree with the law', fromMin: 255 },
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{ id: 'lockout-live', text: '130. lockout. nobody new gets in. i dont care who terry is. especially if its terry', fromMin: 270 },
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// vibe commentary
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{ id: 'vibe-mid', text: 'why is the floor MID rn. fix it', fromMin: 60 },
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{ id: 'vibe-good', text: 'room is going OFF right now whatever ur doing keep doing it', fromMin: 100 },
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{ id: 'vibe-queue', text: 'queue looks massive from my office window. love that. keep them out there', fromMin: 80 },
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{ id: 'vibe-empty', text: 'i can see the back wall from the bar. the BACK WALL. let some people in', fromMin: 45 },
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// 2am philosophy / the owner
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{ id: 'owner-scare', text: 'if a bloke called terry shows up he gets in. do NOT stamp terry. please', fromMin: 150 },
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{ id: 'philosophy-1', text: 'a nightclub is just a room where everyone agreed to pretend. dont let them stop pretending', fromMin: 300 },
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{ id: 'philosophy-2', text: 'do u ever think about how the kebab shop outlives us all', fromMin: 320 },
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{ id: 'kayden', text: 'kayden let in a bloke wearing CROCS while u were inside. deal w kayden', fromMin: 120 },
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];
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